Wednesday, May 26

Lifestyles, Love and teh gay.

Don't blame me, blame Tobias.

He was writing today about Jonathon and David, the two young men from the Old Testament who were, as my partner's mother would say, "special friends". I'll not attempt to parrot Tobias' words, which are much more scholarly and eloquent than mine. What I would like to discuss instead is an issue that is commonly brought up with discussing homosexuality.

There is a common discussion thread which says that sexual orientation is a 'lifestyle choice', not unlike going green or vegetarianism. The underlying thought process is that one can be taught to be attracted to and love a particular type of individual. By logical extension, one could be 'rehabilitated' from a fondness for red-heads or asians or ...well, you get the idea.

For myself, I find this sort of thought process unconscionable and deeply disturbing. As time and distance from the initial 'gay revolution' occurs, we see more and more that the self and other communities share a lot in common in regard to relationships. In short, some folks want serious, meaningful relationships and other don't. Thus, the nature of intimate relationships are gender-bias independent.

The other item we see is that lasting and intimate relationships are formed based upon the bedrock of love. 1 Corinthians 13 has a laundry list of descriptors for love, but the one that Paul left out was that love is blind. The gender, gender-identity, race, creed, colour, socio-economic status or age of the people don't matter. That deep form of love, agape love, is not bound by these things nor is it rational or reasonable in any way. You love who you love.

The only choice, for someone who wishes to have a lasting relationship, is whether or not to recognize this love and whether or not to act upon this love. I could no more choose to love or not love my partner than I could choose or not choose to love the Divine. I can decide to deny my own feelings, to shutter them, or choose to do nothing about those feelings. No matter how you do that, though, the feelings are still there - the love remains.

I guess that's my point, then. That neither society nor religion nor even one's own mind can stop or change that you love as you love. If that's a lifestyle choice, then I guess I've chosen.

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