Sunday, June 27

Wolves at the door....

A friend of mine introduced me to this phrase years ago to describe when the those negative inner voices start to whisper in your ear. Whether it be self-doubt, self-pity, that righeous indignation or other things, they all are destructive and negative things which, if listened to, can undermine a person and contribute to an abandonment of hope.

The wolves were at my door last night, howling up a storm and working towards convincing me that my desires and hopes were useless, that the relationship is over and other sorts of similar things were in the works and, no matter what I do, that's how it's going to be.

About 2/3 of the way through this whole ordeal, a thought came to my mind from somewhere very different. Isn't all of this your doing? I mean...isn't this all about what you can't do and what you can't fix and such? Isn't the whole point of relinquishing control of the situation supposed to give the Big Man room to do His thing?

And that's the moment of truth. God wasn't a part of the discussion. Once I realised that and considered how the Divine fits into the situation, those negative voices became no less vocal, but they faded into the background. The more I considered about it, the more my mind settled. I could still hear those compaints and natterings, but they were of less and less importance as I meditated on the idea that I should make room for God to take His hand at things.